Why Don’t You Feel Like Having Sex After Childbirth?

Restoring libido after childbirth

Statistics show that many married couples divorce in the first year after the birth of a baby, and even if they don’t, they experience relationship difficulties. It would seem that the birth of a baby should bring boundless happiness and joy, which only strengthens the marriage, but this is not always the case. Not only is the woman now almost wholly devoted to the child, spending all her free time on the baby and sidelining the husband, but she also ignores the husband’s needs for sex. It is known that the lack of intimacy can impact a family as much as, for example, infidelity. Therefore, it’s essential to understand why a woman loses interest in intimate life after childbirth and what to do about it.

Reasons for a lack of desire for intimacy after childbirth:

1. A new pace of life. A woman is exhausted after childbirth and needs some time to recover. On top of that, there’s child care, night awakenings, feedings. Household chores have not been canceled either. Hence the perpetual lack of sleep and fatigue. As soon as her body assumes a horizontal position, the new mother immediately falls asleep.
2. Complexes. If excess weight was gained during pregnancy, stretch marks appeared, or cellulite became more noticeable, which the pregnant woman didn’t pay much attention to in anticipation of the baby, then after childbirth all this hits her like a ton of bricks. After all, she wants to be a beautiful, slim, energetic, and fit mom after childbirth.
3. Emotional Burnout. Some moms experience postpartum depression. A woman may become bored with the monotonous gray days, filled with feedings, diaper changes, dressing, baths, etc. In such cases, there’s no room for a great mood or readiness for intimacy with her husband.
4. Fear of getting pregnant again. Subconsciously, many moms fear another pregnancy, which is why they keep their husband at a distance.
5. Lack of orgasm due to weak pelvic floor muscles. After childbirth, a large percentage of women note they do not feel an orgasm, and sex no longer gives them any pleasure. The issue is that the pelvic floor muscles are weakened, which occurs not only during childbirth but also during pregnancy and even before. A sedentary lifestyle, lack of physical activity, and simple laziness contribute to this. Laziness to take care of oneself. It is a misconception that weak pelvic floor muscles are an issue only for women who give birth naturally. This is not the case. Those mommies who have delivered their baby via cesarean section also face issues with the weakness of these muscles.
6. Exhaustion of the body. Improper nutrition, snacking “on the go,” and eating sporadically only exacerbate the exhaustion after childbirth. Deficiency of iron, calcium, and other microelements is a common condition for women who have given birth.
7. Difficult childbirth. The experience can be compounded by a cesarean scar or perineal tears that occurred during labor. Sometimes, there might be both external and internal stitches after delivery. In such cases, sex may remain uncomfortable for a while.
8. Hormonal balance. Libido (the desire for sexual closeness) may be reduced due to hormonal changes. The hormone prolactin, which stimulates milk production, is produced in a woman’s body and suppresses ovarian function. Estrogen levels decrease, while oxytocin levels increase, all of which can reduce libido and cause vaginal dryness.

It’s clear there can be many reasons, but the issue can and should be resolved. A normal sexual life will only benefit the relationship and strengthen the family.

How to regain libido in women after childbirth?

There are several important recommendations for restoring libido after childbirth:

• First of all, do not stay silent. Many women are embarrassed to talk about their problems, they don’t speak up if something bothers them, feels uncomfortable, painful, or has no effect at all. Refusing sex is the wrong decision. Silently enduring your problems is not a solution either. Attempts to fulfill marital obligations with a grim look of a martyr will not change the situation. It’s important to talk openly with your husband.
• Secondly, yoga and Kegel exercises are indispensable for strengthening the intimate muscles. Yoga places great emphasis on working the pelvic floor muscles and helps you understand where they are and how to engage them during practice, which can then be applied to everyday life. Kegel exercises are a sort of workout to maintain urogenital health and for new sensations in bed with your partner. Healthy pelvic floor muscles contribute to a woman’s overall “feminine” health. Besides strengthening the pelvic floor muscles, yoga will also strengthen the body as a whole. A beautiful, toned figure will boost your self-confidence and self-esteem.

• Thirdly, proper nutrition. Nutrition should be balanced and diverse. It’s advisable to avoid unhealthy snacks and products containing preservatives. It’s preferable to eat more fruits and vegetables, and also to maintain a proper hydration regime (this will solve the problem of vaginal dryness).
• Fourth, it is worth visiting a gynecologist to choose the most convenient method of contraception. This will eliminate the fear of a new pregnancy.
• Fifth, sometimes you can ask for outside help. Let your husband take on some of your concerns. Grandparents can take the baby for a walk at least once a week, and during this time, mom can spend some time on herself, or at least catch up on some sleep. If it’s not possible to involve relatives, you can hire a nanny.

The postpartum recovery course helps restore the tone of the pelvic floor muscles and the body as a whole. Specialists will help lose excess weight, gain confidence, establish baby’s sleep and breastfeeding (for the full rest of mom), and working with a psychologist will help solve problems and blockages in sexual life.