How do I start losing weight without harsh diets

Start with noticing rather than banning. Keep a photo food diary for a couple of weeks and follow the schedule — that's enough to see the real picture.

After that the decisions make themselves: you can see where protein is short, where eating is emotional, which days you undereat and then break.

You don't need to weigh food — a photo is enough. Scales are usually what makes people drop the diary by day three.