Statistically, many married couples divorce in the first year after the birth of a baby, and if they do not divorce, they experience difficulties in their relationship with each other. It would seem that on the contrary, the birth of a baby brings boundless happiness and joy, which only strengthens the marriage, but this is not always the case. Not only does a woman now almost entirely belongs to the child, spending all her free time on him, pushing her husband into the background, but also ignores the needs of her husband for sex. It is known that the lack of intimacy affects the family just as much as, for example, treason. Therefore it is necessary to find out why women after childbirth lost interest in intimacy and what to do about it.
Reasons for reluctance of intimacy after childbirth:
The new pace of life. A woman is exhausted after childbirth, she needs some time to recover, and then there are the cares of childcare, night wakes, feedings. No one cancels household chores either. Hence the eternal lack of sleep and fatigue. As soon as her body gets into a horizontal position, she immediately falls asleep.
Complexes. If during pregnancy she put on extra weight, stretch marks appeared, cellulite became more visible, and the pregnant woman did not pay much attention to this, in anticipation of the baby, then after delivery all this falls on her like a snowball. After all, you want to be a beautiful, slim, energetic, fit mommy after childbirth.
Emotional burnout. Some moms experience postpartum depression. A woman may get bored with the monotonous gray days that are spent feeding, changing diapers, changing clothes, bathing, and so on. You can never be in a good mood and ready for intimacy with your husband.
Fear of getting pregnant again. Subconsciously, many moms are afraid of a new pregnancy, so they do not let their husbands near them.
Lack of orgasm due to weak pelvic floor muscles. After giving birth, a large percentage of women note that they do not feel orgasm, and sex no longer gives them any pleasure. And the thing is that the muscles of the pelvic floor are weakened, this happens not only during childbirth, but also during pregnancy, and even before it. Contribute to this sedentary lifestyle, lack of physical activity and banal laziness. Laziness to take care of yourself. It is a wrong opinion that weak pelvic floor muscles are the destiny of women who give birth naturally. This is not true. Mammy women who brought their baby into the world by cesarean section, also encounter problems with the weakness of these very muscles.
Exhaustion of the body. Improper nutrition, snacks “on the run”, and snacks taken in snatches only worsen exhaustion after childbirth. Deficiency of iron, calcium and other micronutrients is common in women who have given birth.
Difficult childbirth. A scarp from a cesarean section or perineal tears that appeared during childbirth can also add a spoonful of tar. It even happens that after childbirth can be imposed not only external, but also internal stitches. In this case, sex can still be uncomfortable for some time.
Hormonal background. Libido (desire for sexual intimacy) can also be caused by hormones. The hormone prolactin is produced in a woman’s body to produce milk. It suppresses the function of the ovaries. Estrogen levels go down, and oxytocin levels go up. All this also reduces libido, and can be the cause of vaginal dryness.
It is clear that there can be many reasons, but it is possible to solve the problem, and even necessary. Normal sexual life of the spouses will only benefit the relationship and strengthen the family.
How to restore libido in women after childbirth?
There are several important recommendations for restoring libido after childbirth:
First, don’t be silent. Many women are embarrassed to talk about their problems, do not say if they do not like something, uncomfortable, painful or in general no. Refusing to have sex is the wrong decision. Going through their problems in silence is not the answer either. Trying to perform marital duty with a sour face martyr will not change the situation. You need to talk frankly with her husband.
Secondly, yoga and Kegel exercises are indispensable for strengthening intimate muscles. Yoga pays a lot of attention to the work of the pelvic floor muscles and teaches you to understand where they are and connect them during practice, which then carries over into normal life as well. Kegel exercises are a kind of exercise for the prevention of genitourinary health and new sensations in bed with your beloved. Healthy pelvic floor muscles make a woman “feminine” healthy. In addition to strengthening the pelvic floor muscles, yoga will strengthen the body in general. And a beautiful trim figure will give self-confidence and increase self-esteem.
Thirdly, a nutritious diet. The diet should be balanced and varied. Do not eat junk snacks and foods that contain preservatives. It is preferable to eat more fruits and vegetables, as well as follow a drinking regime (this will solve the problem of vaginal dryness).
Fourthly, it is worth visiting a gynecologist to choose the most convenient method of contraception. This will eliminate the fear of a new pregnancy.
Fifthly, sometimes you can ask for help from outside. Let your husband take care of some of your worries. Grandmothers can at least once a week to walk with the baby, and the mother in this time can spend time on themselves, or at least just a little sleep. If it is not possible to involve relatives, you can hire a nanny.
A course of recovery after childbirth helps to restore the tone of the pelvic floor muscles and the body as a whole. Specialists will help to lose excess weight, gain self-confidence, establish infant sleep and lactation (for a full-fledged rest of a mommy), and work with a psychologist will help to solve problems and clamps in sexual life.